3 Steps to Better Goal Setting: How You Can Help Your Child Achieve

Let's take a closer look at goal setting...

Have you ever talked to your child about goal setting? Most parents haven’t. A new study shows that only 42% of kids in the U.S. are actively pursuing a goal.

This is bad news. Being able to set and meet goals leads to higher grades, motivation and performance in extracurricular activities. 

It also leads to better mental health.

But not all goals are created equal. This article will show you three steps to helping your child set effective and useful goals.

1. Goals should be S.M.A.R.T.

Decades of research show that the most effective goals are:

S          Specific. Kids with specific goals improve 90% more often than kids with vague goals. A specific goal answers questions like:

            - What do I want to accomplish?

            - Why?

            - How will I know I have accomplished my goal?

M         Measurable. This helps kids monitor their progress. It also helps them to break a goal down into smaller steps, which keeps motivation high. A measurable goal answers questions like:

            - How much?

            - How many?

            - How will I know when I am half way there?

A         Attainable. Yet challenging. Easy goals are boring and unrewarding. Impossible goals are discouraging. A goal that is challenging but attainable puts kids in a state of flow. This is when the magic happens. When setting a goal, your child should be able to answer:

            - How will I meet this goal?

            - What steps will I need to take?

            - What problems will I face? How will I beat them?

R         Relevant. If a goal has no meaning to your child, they won’t care about achieving it.  It’s as simple as that. Your child should be able to answer:

            - Why do I want to do this?

- Why is this important?

- What other things will this help me do?

T         Time-bound. Having a timeframe helps kids stay focused, and it can add meaning to the goal. 
            You can also use time to break a big goal into smaller ones.

- When will I meet my goal?

- What will I be able to do by tomorrow?

- What can I do by next week?

2. Goals should be about learning – not performance.

Learning goals are about improvement. Performance goals are about looking smart or avoiding looking dumb. They often go together – e.g., improving your reading will lead to better grades. But there are important differences between them.

Learning goals help your child stay on the ball!

Photo credit: photostock

Kids who set learning goals show greater improvement. They adopt a growth mindset – the belief that you can grow your brain like a muscle. And when they fail, they feel confident enough to try again.

Kids with performance goals often develop a fixed mindset – they think that intelligence is fixed, and there is little they can do to change it. Since their goal is to look good, they pick easier goals. That way, they know they won’t fail. 

Besides, performance goals can be meaningless. Say your 3^rd-grader’s goal is to read 30 books a week. They can easily do this by reading short, easy books. Say they want to score three goals in the soccer game. There are many ways to meet this goal -- playing against easy players, hogging the ball, pushing, cheating – without ever improving. 

3. Goals should be charted

Now you have the tools to help your child set engaging and attainable goals. It’s time to sit down with them and have the talk.

It’s important to let them choose their own goals. It will be more meaningful that way. But be sure to guide them by asking some of the questions listed in the S.M.A.R.T. goals section, like, “How will you achieve that?” “Why do you want to do that?” and, “How will you know when you’ve done it?”

Then break it down into steps and make your Goal Ladder. You can either make it yourselves like the girl in this photo, or download a printable PDF here.

Photo credit: Stuart Miles

After you’ve finished your goal ladder, hang it up in a location that is visible relevant. If it is related to soccer, hang it by the soccer equipment. If it’s related to reading, hang it in the room where your child likes to read.

Use stickers or markers to indicate when each step is met. Make sure you give your child feedback on their progress. And let your excitement show!

It might be fun for you to set your own goals, too! That way, you and your child can work together to improve!

Parents: Has your child had any cool goals lately? Do you have any goal charts you’d like to share?