Can Talking Help Your Child Read?

Learning to talk is natural for most kids. Just by listening to you, they absorb words. Sounds. Speech patterns.

If only reading worked that way!

Learning to read takes years of effort. But did you know that certain oral tasks can help your child’s literacy?

It’s true! Research shows that phonemic awareness – the ability to hear sounds and break them into smaller parts – is the best predictor of early reading success. This blog post will show you how to help your child develop this skill.

What is a phoneme?

Phonemes – The building blocks of literacy.
Photo credit: Photostock

A phoneme is the smallest unit of sound in a word. For example, tail is one syllable. But you can break it down into three phonemes: t-, -ai- and –l.

Note that some phonemes consist of more than one letter. A and i are two letters, but they make one sound.

No wonder phonemic awareness is so important for young readers! How can kids learn to spell, read and write… if they can’t distinguish between sounds?

There is a lot of variation between each child. But those with learning disabilities tend to struggle more with phonemic awareness.

Luckily, research shows that it can be taught! Spending just a few minutes per day doing speech tasks with your child will help improve their literacy.

But what tasks should you do?

Here are a few activities we recommend. Remember, the goal of these activities is to help your child:

1.     Rhyming games. These are fairly easy to invent. You can play them over breakfast, in the car, while shopping – or anywhere! Try:

-       “I’m going to say two words. If they rhyme, give me a big thumbs-up! If they don’t, I want a big thumbs-down.”

-       “Finish this rhyme for me: “All, _____? Chair, ____?”

-       “Let’s see how many words we can think of that rhyme with fly! Now let’s try red!”

2.     Books. Many children’s books are based on rhymes and word play. As you read these books with your child, pause at the ends of phrases and let finish with you. Or you can ask them to point out words that rhyme. Some books we love are:

-       Little Book of Alliterations by Felix Archer

-       Some Smug Slug by Pamela Duncan Edwards

-       Oh, The Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss

-       The Lorax by Dr. Seuss

-       Lilly’s Purple Plastic Purse by Kevin Henkes

-       Walter Was Worried by Laura Vaccaro Seeger

-       Animalia by Graeme Base

3.  Use songs to teach sound substitution. Choose a song you and your child know and sing it together. Sing it again. But this time, add a new sound to the beginning of each word in the song. Try “Old MacDonald.”

-       For a cow, sing, “And on this farm, he had a cow / Kee-Kigh, Kee-Kigh Ko.”

-       For a sheep, sing, “And on this farm, he had a sheep / She-shigh, she-shigh sho.”

We also love “The Name Game,” by Shirley Ellis.

Our list is not exhaustive – we’re sure you and your kids can think of many more ways to practice phonemic awareness. Feel free to share your ideas in the comments section!

3 Steps to Better Goal Setting: How You Can Help Your Child Achieve

Let's take a closer look at goal setting...

Have you ever talked to your child about goal setting? Most parents haven’t. A new study shows that only 42% of kids in the U.S. are actively pursuing a goal.

This is bad news. Being able to set and meet goals leads to higher grades, motivation and performance in extracurricular activities. 

It also leads to better mental health.

But not all goals are created equal. This article will show you three steps to helping your child set effective and useful goals.

1. Goals should be S.M.A.R.T.

Decades of research show that the most effective goals are:

S          Specific. Kids with specific goals improve 90% more often than kids with vague goals. A specific goal answers questions like:

            - What do I want to accomplish?

            - Why?

            - How will I know I have accomplished my goal?

M         Measurable. This helps kids monitor their progress. It also helps them to break a goal down into smaller steps, which keeps motivation high. A measurable goal answers questions like:

            - How much?

            - How many?

            - How will I know when I am half way there?

A         Attainable. Yet challenging. Easy goals are boring and unrewarding. Impossible goals are discouraging. A goal that is challenging but attainable puts kids in a state of flow. This is when the magic happens. When setting a goal, your child should be able to answer:

            - How will I meet this goal?

            - What steps will I need to take?

            - What problems will I face? How will I beat them?

R         Relevant. If a goal has no meaning to your child, they won’t care about achieving it.  It’s as simple as that. Your child should be able to answer:

            - Why do I want to do this?

- Why is this important?

- What other things will this help me do?

T         Time-bound. Having a timeframe helps kids stay focused, and it can add meaning to the goal. 
            You can also use time to break a big goal into smaller ones.

- When will I meet my goal?

- What will I be able to do by tomorrow?

- What can I do by next week?

2. Goals should be about learning – not performance.

Learning goals are about improvement. Performance goals are about looking smart or avoiding looking dumb. They often go together – e.g., improving your reading will lead to better grades. But there are important differences between them.

Learning goals help your child stay on the ball!

Photo credit: photostock

Kids who set learning goals show greater improvement. They adopt a growth mindset – the belief that you can grow your brain like a muscle. And when they fail, they feel confident enough to try again.

Kids with performance goals often develop a fixed mindset – they think that intelligence is fixed, and there is little they can do to change it. Since their goal is to look good, they pick easier goals. That way, they know they won’t fail. 

Besides, performance goals can be meaningless. Say your 3^rd-grader’s goal is to read 30 books a week. They can easily do this by reading short, easy books. Say they want to score three goals in the soccer game. There are many ways to meet this goal -- playing against easy players, hogging the ball, pushing, cheating – without ever improving. 

3. Goals should be charted

Now you have the tools to help your child set engaging and attainable goals. It’s time to sit down with them and have the talk.

It’s important to let them choose their own goals. It will be more meaningful that way. But be sure to guide them by asking some of the questions listed in the S.M.A.R.T. goals section, like, “How will you achieve that?” “Why do you want to do that?” and, “How will you know when you’ve done it?”

Then break it down into steps and make your Goal Ladder. You can either make it yourselves like the girl in this photo, or download a printable PDF here.

Photo credit: Stuart Miles

After you’ve finished your goal ladder, hang it up in a location that is visible relevant. If it is related to soccer, hang it by the soccer equipment. If it’s related to reading, hang it in the room where your child likes to read.

Use stickers or markers to indicate when each step is met. Make sure you give your child feedback on their progress. And let your excitement show!

It might be fun for you to set your own goals, too! That way, you and your child can work together to improve!

Parents: Has your child had any cool goals lately? Do you have any goal charts you’d like to share?

A Marshmallow A Day: 6 Ways to Help Your Child Defer Gratification

As most parents know, when a four-year-old wants something, they want it now. But did you know that being able to wait can have a big impact on their whole life?

Indeed, Stanford psychologist Walter Mischel says delay of gratification skills are the best predictors of success. In a famous study, he gave four-year-olds a choice. They could eat one marshmallow now. Or they could wait for 15 minutes and get two marshmallows.

It went something like this:

As you can see, the Marshmallow Test is hard! 67% of kids fail. Only 1 out of 3 can wait for the bigger reward. 

Why does it matter?

Mischel followed the kids for years. All through elementary school those who had passed the marshmallow test had better grades fewer behavior problems. They were more popular with teachers and peers. At age 18-19, they scored 210 points higher on their SATs. And they were happier.

Waiting is hard!
Photo credit: David Castillo Dominici

Those who had failed the test were less likely to go to college – or even finish high school! They used more drugs and alcohol. They were more frustrated and less happy. 

So try the Marshmallow Test with your child! Sit them down in a room without any distractions. Explain the rules. Remind them to stay seated while they wait.

Whatever happens, remember that children can improve their ability to defer gratification. It just takes some work. Try these strategies:

1.     Be a good role model. Your children are always watching you. When you defer gratification, tell your child. For example:

a.     “I want a cookie, but it’s almost dinnertime. I’ll have to wait.”

b.     “The soup smells so good, but I have to wait so I don’t get burned.”

c.      “I really want this shirt! But if I wait till next week, it will be on sale. Then I can buy it and have money left for something else.

d.     “Daddy and I want a new TV, but we have to wait until we’ve saved enough money.”

e.     “Instead of waiting, let’s do chores now. That way, we can spend more time at the zoo tomorrow.”

f.      “I want to watch a movie, but I have to finish my work first.”

2.     Practice. It makes perfect. As your child improves, increase how long they have to wait.

a.     Start them young! Offer your child a toy. When they reach for it, say, “You have to wait a second first. Wait… wait… Okay! Great effort waiting!” If your child gets upset, wait calmly for the right amount of time. Then give them the toy.

b.     Practice the Marshmallow Test. Mix it up with different treats your child likes.

c.      Before snack time, make a series of requests, such as:

                                               i.     “Did you wash your hands? No? Okay, wash them first!”

                                              ii.     “Before we start, will you get us both a napkin?”

                                            iii.     “Please clear your toys from the table so we have a place to sit.”

                                            iv.     “Let’s wait a few minutes before we start so we don’t get burned.”

d.     Before playtime, ask your child questions like:

                                               i.     “Did you take the trash out of your lunch box yet? First do that before you play.”

                                              ii.     “You have to make your bed before you play.”

                                            iii.     “Before you start a new game, you have to put away the old one!”

                                            iv.     “Please put your dish in the sink before you go outside.”

Photo credit: David Castillo Dominici

3.     Use allowance as a lesson! Try this:

a.     If they don’t do their chores, don’t give them their allowance. This will teach them to associate reward with effort.

b.     Keep a regular schedule. This lets your child plan for their “income.”

c.      If your child wants their allowance early, turn it into a marshmallow test. Say, “I will give you $3 today, or you can have $5 if you can wait until Friday. You decide.”

d.     Talk to them about financial goals. Then help them build a piggy bank with different sections for different goals. Try “New bike,”  “Sister’s birthday present,” “Spending,” “Saving”… or even “Investing.”

e.     For more information about the pros and cons of giving your child an allowance, see Alisa Weinstein’s Earn It, Learn It: Teach Your Child The Value of Money, Work and Time Well Spent.

4.     Use conflict to build self-regulation skills.  Kids can lose their tempers very quickly. Instead of just breaking it up, turn it into a lesson. Help them talk, listen to each other, and devise a solution. This builds impulse control – but also language (which helps them with their reading!) and social skills. Here are some tips:

a.     Let them do the talking. For example, instead of, “Tom didn’t like it when you hit him,” ask, “Can you tell Sam what happened? How did it make you feel?”

b.     Have them talk to each other. Encourage good eye contact. Say, “Don’t tell me – tell Tom.”

c.      Don’t let them interrupt. If they try, say, “I am listening to Lydia now. Please wait for your turn.” Younger children may need a physical object to remind them: “You are holding the ear buds right now, so it is your turn to listen.”

d.     Ask them to come up with solutions. Again, the younger the child, the more help they may need. Try questions like:

                                               i.     “What can we do differently next time?”

                                              ii.     “Is there any way you can both be happy?”

                                            iii.     “How many minutes should each person’s turn be?”

5.     Play self-regulation games. You and your child can both increase your ability to defer gratification by playing these games. Here are some ideas:

a.     Do an activity using your non-dominant hand.

b.     Play word games. Over dinner, in the car, or any time, suggest that your family temporarily avoid certain kinds of words. This increases your ability to monitor yourselves. It can also help with your child’s reading! Try

                                               i.     Contractions

                                              ii.     Slang

                                            iii.     Words that start with S

6.     Read. Books can be a fun way to learn about delay of gratification. We recommend:

The Little Red Hen by Paul Galdone.
Age Level 5 and up.

The Ant and the Grasshopper, Amy Lowry Poole.
Age Level 4 and up.

The Goose That Laid the Golden Egg
by Mark White. Age Level 6 and up.

Ox-Cart Man by Donald Hall. Age Level 4 and up.

The Three Little Pigs by Paul Galdone.
Age Level 5 and up.

It isn’t always easy. But putting in the effort will make a big difference. Help your child develop skills that will improve the rest of their life!

Parents: Are your children ever impatient? How do you handle it? Would add anything to the list?