Seeing Into Your Child's Mind: How To Ask Great Questions

Great questions don't just show how much you care!
Photo credit: Ambro

One of the top questions parents ask about their early readers… is about questions! It’s amazing how much we hear, “Why doesn’t my child want to talk about his day when he gets home from school?”

We also hear a lot of, “How do I talk to my child about her reading?” and “Are some questions more helpful than others?”

We’re glad you asked! Some questions are better than others.  That is why today’s post is all about asking great questions.

Great questions don’t just show how much you care. They also help kids build language and comprehension skills. This means better reading and writing scores. But best of all, they will help you see into your child’s mind and get to know them better.

If they’re reluctant to talk about their day…

There are a few reasons children don’t always want to talk about their day. One is that adults tend to ask general questions. These are hard for kids to answer. To them, “How was your day?” means, “Recall, prioritize, evaluate and communicate today’s events.”

These aren’t skills you’re born with. You have to learn them. And it can take years. See why it can be daunting?

So help your child out! Use your questions to guide them. Then watch as their storytelling, reading and writing skills improve.

Here are some examples to get you started:

-       What was the silliest/most frustrating/funniest thing that happened to you today? (Try to explore emotions other than just ‘best,’ ‘worst,’ etc.)

-       What was the most interesting thing you learned in school subject today?

-       What do you like about topic child is studying now?

-       What did you and student’s teacher talk about today?

-       What made you laugh today?

-       What was the hardest thing you had to do today?

-       What did you do at recess?

-       Whom did you sit with at lunch?

-       Are there any school rules that you think are unfair?

-       Can you show or tell me about something you learned today?

-       Who is your best friend at school?

-       You have some really good teachers this year. Which one is your favorite?

-       What is your favorite time of day at school?

Don't be afraid to experiment! Try talking to your child at different times of the day. Find out when your child is most eager to talk. Some love mornings. Some feel tired after school. Some love to talk during dinner, or right before bed. 

Even with the right questions, your child may still resist. Some kids just feel a greater need for privacy or independence than others. It’s important not to grill them. Just make sure they know that you are always willing to listen.

If you want to talk to them about their reading…

One of the best ways to help your child love reading is to show interest in it. Asking great questions shows that their reading is important to you. It also helps them build important literacy skills, like comprehension, inference and critical thinking. 

Can you and your child think of any more?

When you ask your child about their reading, encourage them to use sequence words, like first, then, later and finally. If they struggle, sit down together and write out all the sequence words you can think of. Let them use this list to help them talk about their reading.

You can also try to relate what they’re reading to real life (e.g., “Is anything about Hogwarts similar to your school?”). This helps them connect more to the story.

Again, don’t grill your child. Just ask a few good questions each day. Here are a few we like:

Before reading:

-       What is the title of this book? What is on the cover?

-       What do you think will happen in this book? What makes you think that?

-       What do you think will be interesting about this book? Why did you choose it?

-       Does the topic of this book relate to anything in your life?

During reading:

-       What has happened so far in your book?

-       Were you surprised?

-       How did it make you feel when that happened?

-       What do you think will happen next?

-       What pictures did you like most? What about them did you like?

-       When you read, what pictures do you see in your head?

-       How do you think the story will end?

-       What do you think you would do if you were the main character?

After reading:

-       How did the character solve the problem? What would you have done?

-       Why do you think the author wrote this?

-       What was your favorite part of the book?

-       Is there any part of the story you would change?

-       Did any of the characters learn anything during the story? Which ones? How did they change?

-       If you could ask the author a question about the book, what would you ask?


In conclusion…

The most important thing we can possibly tell you about asking great questions is that YOU have to be a great listener. If your attention is divided, your child will know. Even 15 minutes of your complete attention per day can help you and your child grow so much.

Childhood is such a special time, and it will be gone before you know it. So take time each day to ask great questions and be a great listener.

Parents: What are your favorite questions to ask your child? When do you like to ask them?